(the time traveler) short story

Sometimes I feel like I am floating between two time lines, I don't belong to none of them. I am the invader in a fictional house, the half remembered dream of someone else...


(The time traveler)
The travel itself is the story. The destination, or the location of the moment have no importance. 







Special thanks to my friend Andrea Gabaldon who let me photographed her : ) 

...
I took this series of photos in mid january, it was a personal attempt for me to talk a bit about life, decisions, and opportunities. Now, I honestly feel like shit, I know what I want to do with my life, but there are so many roads to get where i want to be in the future, and i no longer know which one is better. It feels like trying to see the street that grows behind the fog. 

I think my big fail in life, is to silly believe that others can make you complete; to fill that emptiness that comes with our existence, with the joy of ephemeral happiness that other brings into our life. Because when it's over, it leaves you not only with the pain of loosing something that was never yours, but with the nothingness and the transparency of the skin you believed you once shared with the other. Lost in the travel like the last photograph, with nothing but yourself, and you don't know what yourself is anymore. 

I can't sleep. Because I keep thinking in all the things that could have been different if I would have acted without fear. But then I know that I did everything I wanted to do, it bothers me to know that it was my time but not his. And honestly it also bothers me the existence of the street behind the fog, because right now I want to believe I will find his face in the crowd when I get to the next stage, and it cannot happen because the next fase it's forgiveness. 

The street it's like the last photo, the only difference is that i will be able to see the background, things and people i cherish will be there, but not this other, this other wont be there, and now even though it's not possible, it's what i'm still looking for. 

4 comments:

  1. almost made me cry, reading your words. i know and i understand and i feel the same, so i am sending you love and hope that we will both find ourselves where we belong.

    beautiful photographs.

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  2. stay strong, lovely. keep in mind that this is only a phase, and that you WILL be happy again. but in the meantime, don't keep any of it inside of you. talk about this to anyone who'll listen. write, write, write for hours if you need to. go out and find ways to capture your feelings in photographs. surround yourself with love, keep your head up and carry on. let art guide you. lose yourself in it.

    ps: i am here if you need someone to talk to!

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  3. Lovely photos. And knowing what you want is, as the common phrase goes, half of the battle. If there are many paths to get there, I am sure you'll get there. You don't have to stick with one path either.

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  4. This made me cry, but I'm going to thank you for that. I didn't expect to read from Amanda Lynn that it almost did the same to her. Your photography is beautiful. x

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