dream

I was walking inside this grey train, nobody had bothered in painting the metallic walls, but there was too much sunlight coming through the windows to actually notice. It looked like the gym from the school I never assisted, it was filled with these kids by one side and the young mothers by the other - is not the first time this week that I have dreamt about motherhood - the kids are drawing something in white sheets of paper and I'm walking between the two and observing something to my right. It's our high school I realised, and we seemed to be on the parking load, the train cutting it straight. There was a wild patch of land behind me before entering the train, I had seen two brothers screaming at each other. The older man yelled and cried at this woman who at the moment I stare walked away not looking back.  They were arguing about faith, and then a child appeared behind him somewhere in the meadow, the man ran to greet him in tears as I got inside the train. And now that I'm walking staring at my right, there's nothing particularly there, I start running as I make nosies with my mouth that make the kids laugh hysterically, for a moment I move in discomfort and feel ashamed, but then I realised the women laugh with us. The last woman to my left tells me something before I reached to the exit door, I can't remember by now.
Then I'm at this street,  it could be Paris at night, but I'm inside a restaurant and a Greek man is asking me what I would like for dinner, I pick the oddest thing in the menu, I'm with my sister and he comes back with this cut of meat and chocolate sauce. It's delicious. When I have almost finished it I start cutting small pieces and sliding them in what's left of the chocolate sauce from my plate. I put my face close to it and I observe the meat absorbing the liquid, and suddenly I'm not watching my food anymore. I'm seeing this street upside down, like when one takes a picture of a pond and flips it to create a mirroring effect with the sky, and a pond is what I'm watching only that there's not enough room for the sky, and the water seems to be absorbed by an invisible source, or perhaps is drying incredibly fast. I moved and I'm standing outside of this metro exit in Amsterdam, the street is empty, and it's nighttime.
I press my lips into a line and I wonder why I didn't save some of that chocolate and I'm upset at the thought that I might have eaten it too fast. Now I'm here alone, and I can't recall how I got here. That's what triggers it, I have no memory of getting here, even though is not the first time I've rushed into something and find myself without truly understanding how I got there. But it seems bizarre. This empty street drained from life like the pond was drained from water. I'm alone, how did I get here so fast? It can't be real.
Then everything spins away, and I feel my body pushed to the surface, my eyes are open now and I lay there for a while pressing my lips together and wondering why did I eat that chocolate so fast, I still had time, didn't I?